“I am a transgender woman, and I have been aware of my identity since the age of 5 – I met the girls and I met the boys. In the girls I saw myself belonging and reflected – they were everything I was… polite, kind, creative. Being one of the boys was like being raised by wolves – they were everything I wasn’t… vulgar, mean and destructive. But in 1983 a kid couldn’t just come out and say “hey, here I am, I am transgender!”
So for the next 38 years I pushed myself down deeper and deeper, wrapped myself in concrete and barbed wire sand held myself captive in a prison of my own making. For 38 years I went to bed every night hoping to die in my sleep and resenting the fact I woke up the next morning. That is a lonnng time to be at war with yourself and the world, and I won Oscars for my “everything is fine!”
In 2020 I finally found my peace… but I needed so much deprogramming to erase the role I had played for so long, and recapture the person I had been way back before I destroyed her. ACON was my first port of call when I needed support, and they set me up with an AMAZING counsellor Natalie, who helped me unlock doors I never even realised I had locked behind me.
Natalie’s support helped me find myself and build the foundations for what has been a rewarding fulfilling past five years. I now take every opportunity to help other trans people find their happily ever after through my public speaking, and now also volunteer for ACON Hunter.”
